


My Immortal: Reanimated Edition

by MikeOksout69



Category: (My) Immortal: The Web Series, Back to the Future (Movies), Evanescence (Band), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gothic, Massive OOC, Multi, Parody, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:23:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8771704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeOksout69/pseuds/MikeOksout69
Summary: It has been over ten years now since Tara Gilesbie blessed us with the most awful, and greatest fan fiction ever written.  "My Immortal" truly is the literary version of an Ed Wood movie, and is one of my favorite fanfics to reread over and over again. This story is an attempt to "remix" the original with new scenes, new dialogue, grammar/spelling fixes and more. But at it's very heart, it will remain the same insane, terrible story that we all love dearly and would take a bullet for.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/140843) by Tara Gilesbie. 



> Real Author's Note: What you are about to read is an "enhanced" version of Tara Gilesbie's classic so-bad-it's-amazing story, My Immortal. The primary goal of this massive rewrite is to fix the grammar and spelling mistakes and add new content while keeping the original tone, style and charm of the original intact. I do this not for fame, or money (though money would be very nice if I got it somehow) but for the love of this genuinely bad story. Occasionally I'll get bored or frustrated and just change random things, and probably add some of my own jokes in there.
> 
> This fic is partially written as a celebration of the story's 10th-ish anniversary. For better or worse, this story has touched the lives of everyone who read it, changing us all forever. It is, without a doubt, the best-worst fanfic ever written. The Troll 2 or Plan 9 From Outer Space of fan fiction and literature in general.
> 
> Because of the length of this story, each eleven chapters will be broke up into different "acts." Each act will be uploaded individually, with new acts being uploaded periodically afterwards. There may be quite a bit of time between acts, since this is about the length of a novel. So, just sit back, relax and enjoy it! Don't be a prep, be a true gothic outcast and leave a good review!

=====================[ACT I - BRING ME TO LIFE]=====================

AN: Special fangs (get it? 'cause I'm gothic!) to my gf (ew! not in that way!) Raven, aka Bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin, you're the love of my depressing life and you rock too! MCR rocks!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie.

I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England. I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.

I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking around outside Hogwarts. I like to have a little fun before classes start. The weather was pretty nasty. After a few weeks of snow, it had started to rain quite a bit. Everything was dead, wet and slippery. The sun was nowhere to be seen, hidden behind a thick curtain of clouds. Overall, it was pretty nice out.

A lot of the snobby, well-to-do kids were staring at me like I was a freak. Everybody has these jerks at their school. Some people call them "preppies" or "socs" or maybe just "snobs." Here at Hogwarts, we call them "preps." They're the worst breed of scum on the face on the earth, even worse than Death Eaters or those weird goblin things that work at all the banks. Even that stuck up blonde bimbo-slut-whore-bitch Britney was there. The rich, popular blond cunt from Griffindor. I wanted to raise both my middle fingers at all of them, but I was carrying books, so just one had to do.

Preps and Goths weren't the only cliques in the school. There were also the Jocks in Ravenclaw, and the Nerds in Hufflepuff. But nobody gives a shit about anyone in those houses so they're not going to appear in this story much, if at all.

"Hey, Ebony! Ebony!"

I heard a familiar voice shouting for me from far away. I looked around, and I saw him. It was Draco Malfoy, the amazing boy who I've been flirting with for months.

“What’s up Draco?” I asked as he approached.

“Oh, Nothing.” he avoided eye-contact and rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just busy, y'know, being the best student in Hogwarts ever, and I wanted to know if --"

Suddenly, I heard one of my friends calling, and I had to leave.

"Sorry, Draco." I said, sadly.

"It's okay." Draco sighed. "Another time, then."

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AN: Is it good? Please tell me! Fangs!


	2. Chapter Two

AN: Fangs to Bloodtearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way: stop flaming the story, preps! If you don't like it, don't read it!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. The weather was the same as usual; wet, ugly post-winter, pre-spring sludge and sleet. To get some much needed energy for the coming day, I drank some blood from a vial I had. I have tons of vials of blood in the top drawer of my nightstand. My parents send me the money I need to buy them from this shady black market dealer who hangs around just outside the schoolgrounds. He used to be one of Voldemort's lieutenants, and is now in hiding. I don't know where he gets the blood, and I really don't give a shit.

The coffin I sleep in is black as the night on the outside, and on the inside it's hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got up out of it and took off the large MCR t-shirt I use for pajamas. They stop just past my waist, but if I bend over the right way, you can see my tiny, sexy black lace thong.

I got dressed for the day. I put on a black lace thong, a pentagram necklace, black combat boots and fishnets. I put my hair into a messy bun and clipped four pairs of earings to my ears.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven this is you!) woke up shortly after in the coffin next to mine, clothed in an oversized Panic! At The Disco t-shirt she bought the same day I got mine. She got dressed and started talking to me in the hallway. She smiled at me smugly, like she knew something I didn't.

"Hehehehe" She giggled. "I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday~!"  
I blushed.  
"Y-yeah, so!?" I said, defensively.  
"Do you like Draco?" She teased.  
"Ugh! No! I totally fucking don't! Whatever!" I sneered.  
"Yeah, right!" She giggled. "You so fucking like him!" The sad part is, she was totally right.

Then Draco showed up, Raven laughed and waved goodbye.

"Hi, Ebony." Draco said.  
“Hiiiii~.” I replied flirtily.  
"Hey, guess what I did today? Besides being the best wizard in centuries?" He said.  
"What?" I asked.  
“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me. "And I got tickets because my dad knows a dude."  
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well, the real reason I'm telling you this, is..." He said, rubbing his arm and beginning to blush.

"Do you want to go out with me?"

Oh. My. Fucking. God!


	3. Chapter Three

AN: StOP FLAMMING THE STORY, PREPS! OKAY?! Otherwise, fangs to the gothic people for the good reviews. FANGS AGAIN, RAVEN! Oh yeah, BTW I don't own this or the lyrics to Good Charlotte.

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It was the night of the concert. I was applying my makeup, but I didn't need to bother with foundation because my skin is already pale. I put on so much black eyeliner it looked my eye sockets were just black holes and my lips were caressed by sexy black lipstick. I painted all of my nails black and I put on long black combat boots, underneath them were red fishnets. I put on a short little black lace minidress and matching fishnets on my arms. I read a depressing book while I waited for Draco to show up. I drank one of my stashed vials of human blood, and I was ready for the concert.

When I made my way outside, Draco was waiting for me, leaning on his flying car with his arms crossed, looking all cool and hot. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt because they were opening for GC tonight. He was also wearing black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of cool boys wear it, okay?!)

"Hi, Draco!" I said in a faux-depressed voice, trying to repress the nerd, pathetic fangirl squeal that was trying to work it's way out of my lungs like some kind of fuckin' prep. Draco would TOTALLY think I'm a dork if I did.

"Hi, Ebony." he said back in a cool, tough goth voice that made me melt like butter on a gothic bagel. I hoped in his flying black 2001 Mercedes Benz. It had tinted-black windows and a spoiler and looked just like one of those badass mafia cars from GTA 3.

"Your car is fucking awesome!" I told Draco.  
"Thanks." Draco told me. "My horrible rich father bought it for me. It's a pretty great gift but, y'know, I still hope he dies."

We were so excited for the concert. On the way over we were jamming to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson songs and talking about how awesome it'll be to hear them live. We smoked several marijuana cigarettes and tripped major gothic balls. When we got there, we hoped right out of the car and into a sweet mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as GC rocked the whole fucking place.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own the lyrics to that song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

"Joel gets me so fucking wet." I said to Draco, pointing at him as he sung and filled the club with his amazing voice.

"Oh..." Draco said. He looked a little sad, but he was trying to hide it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Oh! No, it's okay. I don't like him better than you!"

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Oh, really?" asked Draco, seeming relieved. He put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel, and he’s going out with Hilary fuck-me-in-my-ugly-blonde-ass Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said with furious hatred in my voice, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

"Oh, I knew that." Draco laughed.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he kept on driving through the trees.

"Draco, babe, where are we going?" I asked.

"...the forbidden forest!"


	4. Chapter Four

AN: I said stop flaming!! Okay?! Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue! OKAY?! Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different! They knew each other before the story started, okay?!

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"DRACO!" I shouted as the car landed in the center of the forbidden forest and came to a sreeching halt. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Draco didn't answer me. He just popped the door open and walked right out, standing in the shade of the freaky trees like he was waiting for me. I followed him, angry but enthralled. He led me to a secluded place near a damp cave.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore. I felt hypnotized, like Dracula was luring me in so he could bite my neck. It was so fucking hot. My mouth was hanging open in awe.

Then, suddenly - Draco kissed me! First it was just a quick little peck on the lips, but he leaned in again and locked his lips against mine, kissing me deeply and slipping his tongue between my cheeks. My eyes were wide open in shock, but it felt so good I couldn't help but submit to the Slytherin goth hottie.

I couldn't even stand up straight anymore, and Draco knew that. He propped me up against a tree, and continued to french-kiss me, taking the breath out of my lungs and making me moan in pleasure. He had his hands around my hips, and slid his way down to my butt, and he gave both my cheeks a nice little squeeze.

I grabbed the straps of my black mini dress and unhooked them, letting it fall to the ground. I wasn't wearing a bra, and the only thing covering me (besides my boots and fishnets) was a pair of tight, black thong panties. Draco pulled away from me and started taking off his shirt, revealing his toned, slender abs. He kicked off his shoes and took his pants off - he was wearing black tightie whities, which was funny but also super duper hot. Then he grabbed the waistband, slid them off and let them fall to the ground. Before I had a chance to, he grabbed my panties and slid them down my legs, revealing my nude body to him for the first time. He kissed me right on the belly-button, making me giggle a little. He kept kissing up my body until he got all the way to my face, making me moan and sigh the entire time.

I turned over to face the tree behind me, and I put my plump, pale gothic butt in the air so he could do me from behind. Then he put his magic wand in my wizard hole and we did it for the very first time,

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed as he thrusted into me over and over again, slapping my ass and grabbing my breasts. I was on the brink of orgasm, and were locked in another intense kiss. I curled my toes, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I released my lips from his, causing a string of spittle to form between our mouths that fell to the ground.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH~!!!" I screamed as my whole body tensed up. I had the most amazing orgasm I have had in my life, and I could feel him releasing his magic penis elixir inside my alchemy pot. Then, suddenly --

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!?!?”

We both saw him, standing there with an intense look on his face. It was...

Dumbledore!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP FLAIMING! If you flame, that means you're a prep and a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache, okay!? On top of that, he was mad at them for having sex in the forbidden forest! PS. I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!

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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

We hastily put our clothes back on, looking less like cool gothic teenagers and more like homeless street urchins. The tears running down our faces made our makeup runny and smeared, which actually looks really cool when you're a goth.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted. "You indignacious ingrates! You nefarious ne'er-do-wells! In all my years of wizarding, I've never seen such a brazen disrespect for the laws and regulations of our institution!"

I was weeping like grieving mother, tears of blood running down my face. Draco wrapped his arms around me, rubbed my shoulders and whispered to me that everything would be okay. We went back to the castle and Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall. When he told them why we were here, they looked furious.

“Entering the forbidden forest is bad enough! But fornicating in it?!” he yelled in a furious voice. 

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

"Do you realize how serious this transgression is?!" Snape shouted. "This is grounds for expulsion."

"If you expel me, my dad will sue this school back to the stone age." Draco replied. "Or at the very least, he'll stop donating."

The whole room went silent, and the two professors and Dumbledore all looked at each other.

"We will make a one-time exception." Professor McGonagall said.  
"We all make mistakes." Snape added.  
"Kids will be kids." Dumbledore said. "And sometimes, kids have sex in the forbidden forest."

"You may go to your rooms now." Snape told us.

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

Draco and I did the march of shame upstairs as the teachers huddled together like a football team and muttered to each other, occasionally turning to glance at us.

“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.

“Yeah, I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair. I changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. I heard a strange, pleasant humming sound and opened the door to see what it was.

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: SHUT UP, PREPS! PS. I won't update until you give me good reviews.

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The next day I lifted up the door of my coffin and stumble out depressedly. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

At breakfast, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, with a glass of blood on the side. I also like Frankenberry sometimes, but fuck that Boo Berry motherfucker and his stupid dimples. I'm getting mad just thinking about that little blueberry preppy fucker.

That morning I was super depressed and low on energy, so I took an extra vial of blood with me. In the Great Hall, I was drinking a blood vial when someone bumped into me, causing me to spill it all over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. But I quickly regretted saying it when I looked up. The person I bumped into had an innocent but miserable pale white face. He was a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face like he had been crying and he was wearing black lipstick. He had a pair of sexy glasses on that made him look like an intellectual, but he was also wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s underneath. There was no scar on his forehead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body started quivering and heating up, like I was having an erection but my nipples were getting stiff instead of a penis, because I don't have a penis you sicko.

"Oh! I'm terrible sorry, madam." He said in a show, quiet voice.

“That’s all right." I said with a smile, he was so sexy and cute I couldn't stay made at him. "What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.  
“Why?” I exclaimed.  
“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.  
“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.  
“Really?” he whimpered.  
“Yeah.” I roared.

We parted ways for a while, but at lunch time we sat together at the same table and talked for a while about our favorite bands and goth fashion. After he left for class, Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise, so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Well, okay you guys. I'm only writing this 'cause I got five good reviews. BTW, I won't right the next chapter until I get TEN good ones. STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a "Mary Sue" okay?! She isn't perfect! SHE'S A MEPHISTOLYTE!

(Real Author's Note: A "Mephistolyte" is an Acolyte of Mephisto. Please do not worship Mephisto, Lord of Hatred. It never works out.)

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Draco and I trotted upstairs, pale white hand in pale white hand. I was wearing red Mephistolyte sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: See? Does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?) As we walked by, we caught a glimpse of Vampire. I waved to him, and he waved back at us weakly, with dark misery and depression in his eyes. I guess he was jealous that I was dating Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs with Draco to his room, excited as anyone possibly could be.

He layed me down on his black velvet bed, and we started frenching aggressively and passionately like that night we had sex. We stripped off each other' clothes as fast as we could with great enthusiasm. He slowly caressed my boobs, rubbing them back and forth, kneading them like dough. It felt really good because I have big, sensitive boobs and sometimes they make my back hurt. (AN: See?! Ebony has problems!!!)

I took off my top, and he reached his hands to the back of my bra. He kissed my neck over and over, and I let out a huge moan of pleasure. He unhooked my bra and let it fall to the floor, and then he started pinching and twisting my nipples, which made me whine and squeal. It was soooo good.

He stood up, took off his pants, kicked them aside and grabbed his penis, and he was going commando today, so I was lucky enough to see his huge, pale goth cock. He climbed on top of me, and I layed back as he stripped the rest of my clothes and my panties off. I wrapped my naked, pale legs around his waist and he started thrusting inside me. Then I took command, pumping my hips back and forth and making him wail in ecstasy. He had a huge orgasm but I was so good he got a boner again in just under a minute and we kept HAVING SEX. (AN: See?! Is that stupid?!)

"Oh, Draco! Draco!!!!" I screamed out as I was having an intense, powerful gothic orgasm that made my whole body shake and made me fall to the bed like a limp puppet. Suddenly, as we was laying on top of me and kissing my neck, I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. In bold, cursive lettering in a gothic font, there was a name I recognized. It was... Vampire!

I gasped in horror and I pushed him off me. I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. Pulling his sheets off his bed and covering myself as I stomped out. "You're nothing but a dirty, rich, sexy cheater boyslut!"

“No! Ebony! No!" He cried. "Please, you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot! Get away from me!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!” Which would mean I also have AIDs. But I knew he didn't and I was just saying it because I was angry so it was fine.

I shoved the door open and stomped down the hallway wrapped in Draco's wizard semen-covered sheets. Draco ran after me, so distraught he didn't even care that he was naked and his big, long, pale, uncircumcised goth penis was flapping around. Usually I like circumcised penises because they're kinda gross looking, but I didn't care because Draco was so hot I loved his penis too. But right now I was so pissed I didn't care about foreskins.

I stomped on over to Vampire's classroom, Draco's sheets hanging on my slender, hot goth body like a dress. Professor Snape was teaching a lesson on what potions you should avoid mixing if you don't want your face to get melted off. I turned to face him, with fury in my eyes.

“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Stop flaming, okay?! If you do, then you're a prep!

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The whole class was silent, sitting there in completely shock and staring at me. Draco ran into the room, naked as the day he was born, and he dropped to his knees with tears in his eyes, begging me to forgive him. But I wasn't even a forgiving mood.

“Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed with sorrow cracking his strong, sexy voice. He looked like a frightened puppy who just got scolded for peeing on the carpet, pleading for mercy.

My good friend, B'loody Mary Smith, was sitting in the classroom. While everyone else looked judgmental, confused or scared, she smiled at me with empathy and understanding in her eyes. he flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

Hermione was adopted when she was born. Her real parents are vampires, but only one of them was a witch. Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She's had nightmares her whole life about it, but didn't truly understand them until she discovered the truth. Of course, it turned out her real name is Smith and her original family is from America. Since she converted to Reform Mephistoism (unlike me, as I am an Orthodox Mephistolyte, but we still get along just fine), she moved to Slytherin and not Griffindor.

“What is it that you desire, you delirious dimwit?!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice, cruel voice. "How dare you interrupt my class with your scurrilous sexual shenanigans, you sacrilegious slut?!?!" I just ignored his old prep ass.

“Draco, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Vampire!!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

 [Draco's Perspective]

I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

I didn't know why Ebony was so mad at me. Sure, I had gone out with Vampire before, but that was a long time ago! I'm bi (and so is Ebony) and there really shouldn't be a problem. Luckily, I knew just the trick to win her back: a little fake crying and some sexy nude posing, and she would melt like butter in my arms. If that didn't work, I could probably just fake a suicide attempt for attention.

See, I really do have a sensitive side, and I do cry sometimes, but most of the time I exaggerate it for sympathy to get dates. When I do the sad lonely boy shit, girls (and Harry) get mad horny. But me and Harry were just friends now. Well, not really friends because we still fought all the time - but like, frenemies. We weren't even frenemies with benefits anymore. Protip: Don't do "frenemies with benefits" because it gets super awkward and terrible.

Sure, Vampire broke my heart, but I had mostly forgiven him. He had gone through some horrible things, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

 [Ebony's Perspective]

“But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ripped the semen-soaked sheets I was wearing and tossed them right into Vampire's face, making him gag and have to wipe the Syltherin splooge out of his eyes. I then ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity and my virillity to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Stop flaming, okay?! I didn't read the books! This is from the movie, okay?! So it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears Besides, I SAID HE HAD A HEADACHE! And the reason Snape doesn't like Harry now is because he's Christian and Vampire worships Mephisto! MCR ROCKS!

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I was filled with so much anger and sadness. I couldn't believe Draco cheated on me. I didn't even care that I was butt naked in the middle of the woods. I leaned up against the tree where Draco did me Doggy-Style and spanked my butt and I began to cry loud and hard, letting all the pain out.

Suddenly, a horrible, disfigured man with glowing red eyes and no nose flew down from the dark, cloudy sky on a flaming broomstick that glew with an insidious green flame! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie, because he was Voldemort) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic because he was way too old. "Kill Youself Part 3" by the $uicideBoy$ played upon his arrival like some kind of dark choir even though there was no speaks anywhere. It was... Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted, terrified and covering myself. I tried to run away, but I heard Voldemort shout "Imperius!" and glowing, magical red chains appeared and locked me in place.

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. The magical chains exploded and Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. His evil song stopped instantly with a loud record scratch sound. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped. A dufflebag dropped from the back of his broom. I reached in it and found an extra Death Eater robe, which I put on to cover myself.

He stood up and brushed himself off, acting like he wasn't hurt at all. I realized he tricked me! I was too scared to do anything else though.

“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!”

As Voldemort told me that, I thought of Vampire and his sexy red eyes and hot pale goth skin and how he looked just like Joel Madden, and I couldn't bare the thought of killing him, so I started to cry. I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought "What if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?"

“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back. "I'll never do it.

"Yes, thou shall!" Voldemort replied.

Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

I recognized what type of pistol it was. It was a black Mark IV Desert Eagle. Me and my dad used to shoot ones just like it when he would take me hunting because he was depressed that he didn't have a son. I didn't like shooting the animals but it was okay 'cause my dad told me I could use the pistol and only have to shoot people, like home invaders or mouthy preps. We weren't allowed to have guns at Hogwarts so I was pretty terrified.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort looked at me that classic "dude, you're so retarded" look I also like to give people who asked dumbass questions. "I hath telepathy. No mind ist safeth from my third's eyes gaze!” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I sat there in terror, weeping to myself as I let the robe fall down to my ankles. I was crying so hard, I had no idea what to do. Suddenly, a familar voice called for me from the woods. It was Draco!

"Draco!" I said. "I'm so glad to see you!"  
"I'm so glad to see you too!" he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (AN: Get it?) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.  
“No.” he answered.  
“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.  
“That’s okay.” he said all depressed.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I grabbed both of his buttcheeks. We kissed deeply with tongues, and I put my robe back on after he let me go. We held hands and went back to Hogwarts together.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Stop it you gay fags! If you don't like my story then fuck off! PS. It turns out B'loody Mary isn't technically a muggle after all and she and Vampire are evil. That's why they moved house, okay!?!

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My encounter with Voldemort left me traumatized the entire day. I was incredibly upset, but I couldn't bring myself to miss rehearsals with my gothic metal band, Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer and lead guitar. The other people in the band are B’loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Cedric.

But today, Draco and Vampire were depressed. So they weren't coming and we wrote songs together instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a stake through the heart. Of course, that would kill anyone.) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not. (I'm only a slut for hot boys I am in a committed relationship with.)

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena.' Once we finished, I couldn't hold back my emotion and burst out into tears.

“Ebony! Are you Okay?” B’loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think!?” I asked angrily. I took in a deep breath and calmed down. There was no point hiding it anymore. I had to tell B'loody Mary everything.

"Well, Voldemort came to me while I was in the forbidden forest and the fucking bastard told me to kill Harry!" I explained. "But I don't want to kill him, because... well, he's nice, and cute. Even If he did go out with Draco, I don't mind because it was before we were dating. But if I don't kill Harry, then... then Voldemort says he'll fucking kill Draco!"

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” shouted a familiar voice. Jumping out from behind the wall, I saw Draco! And he was absolutely furious at me.

“How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (AN: See? Is that out of character?)

I couldn't hold back anymore. I broke down and started to cry. Draco started crying too all sweet and sensitive, and then he ran out crying.

I wanted to go talk to Draco, but I knew there was nothing I could say to make it better. So instead me, Mary and Cedric practice our songs for another hour. Then suddenly, Dumbledore walked in angry and panicking! His eyes were all firey and I knew this time he didn't have a headache (because he wasn't swearing.)

"Ebony! What have you done?!" He shouted indigently. Then, he started to cry. (AN: See? That's basically not swearing, and this time he was really upset and you will see why.) "Oh god, Ebony, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't blame you." He wept. "Ebony, my dear, Draco has been found in the boys shower room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

 [Draco's Perspective]

Holy fucking Muggle Tittyfuckers! Voldemort was going to kill me! And if he didn't, then he would make Ebony kill Harry! Oh, fuck me up my rich ass and stick Harry's pinky finger up my urethra! This is so bad! I gotta figure a way out of this, a way to save everyone.

That's it! I'll fake my own death! It was one of the twenty only ways to solve this problem! I ran upstairs to the showers and picked a vial of blood I was saving for lunch out of my pocket. I poured the blood everywhere and made a huge mess. Then I pulled out my trusty notebook and wrote a suicide note.

"Dear cruel world, I can no longer stand to live with Ebony and Vampire both hating my guts. I will slit my wrists in the shower and die forever, with no way of undying. I will also use a special time-sensitive spell my dad invented to make my body disappear and my blood come out wrong in a DNA test if you try to test it. So, don't test it. Goodbye forever. PS. If Harry says he was the top while we were dating he's lying. Even when I was the catcher, I was the power-bottom. But I was always the dominant one. Also I was better at sex than he was."

I took off all my clothes and through them everywhere, then I poured more blood all over them. Now that my master plan was complete and everyone was saved, I capped off the latest in my long series of really intelligent, solid life choices by jumping out the window.

But I didn't even realize I had jumped right into a net, and it was being held by a pair of Death Eaters! I struggled, but I was quickly subdued. Then Voldemort appeared from a black puff of smoke and began to mock me.

"Foolish fool. Did though truly think though could escapeth me?" Voldemort said. "I have bigger plans for thou."


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I said stop flaming, preps! See if this chapter is stupid!!! It deals with really serious issues! So see for yourself if its stupid. BTW, fangs to my friend Raven for helping me!

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"NOOOOO!" I screamed out in despair. B'loody Mary put her hand on my shoulder and tried to comfort me, but I swatted it away and told her to fuck off. I ran away crying my eyes out. Dumbledore (or "Dumblydore" as I sometimes like to call him) chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room 'cause he would have looked like a pervert if he followed me.

I plopped down on my bed and I started crying tears of blood into my pillow. I sat up, pulled a razor blade out of a drawer in my nightstand and slit my wrists. There was so much blood, it got all over my clothes. I took every off and put it all in the laundry hamper. Then I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, letting the hot water slide all the blood off my body and down the drain. I put on a Linkin Park song and put it on full volume so nobody could hear me. I grabbed a stake I had hidden behind a toilet and put it up against my heart. I almost stuck it in to commit suicide, because I was so fucking depressed.

I got out of the bathtub and put aside my wardrobe for tomorrow: a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Draco was... gone.

Then I looked out the window and screamed. Snape and Lupin were outside my window on broomsticks, and Snape had a camcorder! They were both watching a video of me naked in the shower and Lupin was masturbating to it! 

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE, YOU EVIL FUCKERS!"

As I ran to the phone, I heard Snape shout out "IMPERIUS!" and suddenly I was frozen in place, unable to move completely. Lupin and Snape, the fucking perverts jumped off their broomsticks and climbed through my window. I was seething with rage and bearing my teeth at them, but I couldn't move at all unless they told me to.

"LET ME GO, YOU FUCKIN' PERVERTS!"  
"Weeell, look what have here, Snape!" Lupin said. "A curvy, foul-mouthed, vampire goth bitch with boobs in desperate need of milking, and a butt that needs to be spanked!"  
"Yeeeees, my dear friend." Snape said. "This salacious slut has been rendered supernaturally servile, and shall soon service our scintillating schlongs simultaneously as she stays sedentary!"  
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT!" I shouted. I was so angry and scared, I wanted to bite them both, but I also wanted to cry.

The ripped the towell off my body and I shrieked. Snape was groping and rubbing my boobs while he pinched my nippes, and Lupin kneeled over and was squeezing, kissing and licking my butt. I tried so hard to struggle, but I couldn't. All I could do is bend and twist in different position as they told me to.

They pulled out their gross, dirty old man dicks and made me bend over. "STOP IT, YOU FUCKERS! THAT'S GROSS! DON'T RAPE ME!" I screamed, but it was too late. Snape jammed his big, nasty wiener in my mouth and Lupin wedged his wiener in my butt. I was forced through their bastard preppy magic to move my hips back and forth and lick every inch of Snape's foul cock. I was screaming with my mouth foul and crying tears of blood. I closed my eyes and imagined Vampire and Draco were the ones doing it and it made it a little better.

"MMMMF! MMMMMFFF!" I protested with my mouth full of penis, Snape's gross gray pubes brushing against my face and poking me in my eyes while Lupin drilled my gothic butthole with obscene force. The two had simultaneous orgasms in my mouth and butthole, there was so much disgusting old man semen in my mouth and ass, and it wouldn't stop leaking. The worst part was, Lupin was holding the camera high up in the air and had recorded everything! Soon, everyone would see me naked and getting spitroasted by two ugly goblin preps.

Suddenly, Vampire ran in, apparently hearing the commotion. He saw the horrific sight and sprung into action. “Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his wand. The evil curse on me was broken, and the two fell back onto the ground.

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and shot them with even more magic. 

Then, suddenly, Cedric ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Cedric?" protested Dumblydore. "You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Cedric paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO AN ACOLYTE OF MEPHISTO!”

“This cannot be.” Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.” 

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly, though his hand was wobbly and he was also spitting out blood and chunks of viscera. “The lens may be ruined, but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do. Like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. I was on my knees, a pathetic mess. My mouth was covered in cum, and I was also sitting in a puddle of cum.

But luckily, Cedric grabbed the camera, ripped out the tape and tossed the camera on the ground. Then he stomped it into a million tiny pieces.

“Noooo!!! Why are you doing this?!?!” Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cock and cried.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE... BECAUSE...” Cedric said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a love song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re gothic?” Snape asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraid it meant he was connected with Mephisto. Which he was, but that wasn't the point.

“Because I LOVE HER!”

=====================[END OF ACT I]=====================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Author's Note: Well, that's more than enough for now. Boy howdy, that escalated quickly, didn't it? We saw some old scenes we loved, some new scenes I hope you enjoyed, and probably went a little too far with the smut scenes. Can you blame me? This story's 44 goddamn chapters long! I need some kind of motivation to keep going! Besides, smut, author appeal and general stupidity is what made the original so great in the first place!
> 
> Regardless, I hope you had a good time, and I really hope you join us next time. If we were playing a GTA game, this would only be the first island, and the really ridiculous stuff is only just about to begin.


	12. Chapter 12

Real Author's Note: Hello again, dear reader! Boy, things are getting crazy in ol' Hogwarts, aren't they? Where we last left our heroes, Draco had apparently committed suicide (or did he?) and Snape and Lupin had been caught doing some very unsavory things to poor Ebony. Now, the gang has regrouped, and it's time to solve the mystery of... something. I actually don't know what direction the plot is going. And neither did anyone else who has ever read this story ever.

This chapter was them most challenging so far, because it was the start of Tera's feud with Raven. ImmortalHeads will know that this is the point where the story's spelling and grammar takes a nosedive, and never recovers. Also, this chapter has some weird groundhog day shit going on. The tension came in when I had to decide if I wanted to make the chapter coherent and risk taking away some of the story's stupid charm, or if I would leave it alone and let it be nearly illegible. I decided that readability was king, and so I rewrote this chapter almost from scratch. I hope you enjoy.

=====================[ACT II - LITHIUM]=====================

AN: Stop flaming, okay!? Hagrid is a pedo too! A lot of people in American schools are like that, and I wanted to address the issue. Also, how do you know Snape isn't a Christian?! Plus, Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony that was Cedric, okay?!

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I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy (most likely a werewolf, because it was silver. But actually all supernatural monsters are weak against silver.) but I knew that we must both go together.

"No, stop! Don't do it!" I heard a voice call out to me from across the hall. I thought it was Cedric, but I turned around and saw Vampire. He ran up to me and slapped the knife out of my hand.

"What were you thinking?! You could have been hurt!" He pleaded in a caring, sexy way.  
"I just miss Draco so fucking much!" I cried. Vampire wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.  
"I'll get you some help." Vampire told me. "I promise, it'll be okay."  
"HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?!?" I snapped and screamed at him.  
"Because Draco is alive." Harry explained.  
"WHAT?" I said.  
"We can't talk here." Vampire said. "You need to get to the nurse. You need help."

Hours later, I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snape and Lupin and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Margo’s after they recovered cause they were pedophiles and you can’t have those fucking perverts teaching in a school with lots of hot girls. Dumbledore had confiscated the video camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them and they all turned their heads and pretended not to see me.

Anyway, Cedric came into the nurse's office holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony, I need to tell you something." He said in a very serious voice as he handed me the roses.

 

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Cedric had been mean to me before for being gothic, even though he was in my band. He quit after Draco died.

"No, Ebony." Cedric said. "These aren't roses."

"What, are they goths too, you poser prep?" I asked 'cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily.  
“No, you didn’t!" I replied. “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton video made of me by two rapist pedos!"

“Whatever!” he yelled back angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered "Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you had TO SAY!"

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal chords.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(AN: for all you cool gothic fans out there, that is a tribute! 'specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

"Okay, I believe you now." I said. "Now, why are you really here?"  
"The truth is..." Cedric began to explain. "I heard Vampire say he knew Draco was a live. This isn't just a flame spell. These flames were growing in the garden under Draco's room! They can lead us back to him!"

Cedric waved his magic wand. I looked into the ball of flame, but I couldn't see anything.

"You see, Ebony..." Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame and walking into the room. "To see what is in the flame (AN: HAHAHA, YOU REVIEWERS FLAME! GET IT?) you must find yourself first."

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF, OKAY?!? YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Cedric yelled. DUMBLydore looked shocked. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back. Probably something vulgar that also rhymed.

Cedric stormed off back to his room. "You're a liar, Professor Dumbledore!"

Anyway, when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (AN: if you don’t know who she is you're a prep so fuck off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kawaii, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly.  
“Fangs (AN: geddit?) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. 

I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snape and Lupinn couldn’t spy on me and spitroast me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Care of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way.  
“Hi back.” I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so that looked much like Draco's. I was fool of so much emptiness and sorrow and loneliness but also horniess and passion, and looking at Potter's handsome, pale goth face was driving me wild.

Something overcame us both, and we jumped on each other and started making out! We locked tounges deeply and were grabbing each other's butts. Everyone was looking but we didn't give a shit.

“STOP IT NOW, YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us, along with everyone else.

“Vampire, you fucker!” I said, jumping off him and slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily, blushing.

Just then he started to scream. "AHHHHH! NOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" I turned around and ran towards him to help. His eyes rolled in the back of his had and all you could see were his off-white irises with a red tint.

“NO!” I leaned in and tried to shake him back to normal.

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do, but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always covered it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway, my scar started to hurt and turned back into a lightning bolt. Then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco, just like the one I had before!"

"Draco is alive, and Voldemort has him in bondage!"

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SPECIAL FANGS TO RAVEN, MY GOTHIC BLOOD SISTA! WTF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP WRITE THIS!

HEY RAVEN, DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IS? I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT!


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Raven, fangz for helping me again. I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard, but that guy is such a fuckin' sex bomb! PREPS STOP FLAMING!

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Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

“Dumbledore! Dumbledore!” we both yelled in unison. We ran into his office and found him sitting at his desk. He was drinking some Alka-Seltzer out of his glass and he didn't look like he was in a good mood at all, so we figured he had another headache.

“What is it that you want, you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“Voldemort has Draco!” we shouted at the same time.

He groaned, rolled his eyes and waved his hand like he wanted us to leave.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Draco!” we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. He's been a bully and a coward since the first day he entered this school. He's probably working with Voldemort and trying to lead you two into a trap. Besides, I'm sure his rich father will send someone to save him."

We walked out of the room, and Dumblydore (as I like to call him when he acts dumb) waved his wand and the doors shut behind us. Vampire was so upset, he burst into tears and I tried to comfort him.

"My Draco!" He sobbed. (AN: Don't you think gay guys are soooo hot?)

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him, but I didn't mean it. I didn't think things we're going to be okay either. As he sobbed tears of blood, all I could do was pat him on the back. 

"Wait a minute!" He said, suddenly perking up. It looked like he just had a brainstorm. "I have an idea!"

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Voldemprt’s lair!

"No time to explain! Draco's still in danger." Harry explained. "Just stay with me and follow my lead. No matter what happens, you have to trust me!"

Harry grabbed onto me and held me close, and I blushed. He waved his wand, and a flash of black and red light consumed us. I closed my eyes to shield them from the flash, and when I opened them up I saw that we were in some ornate, bizarre dark castle. It was... Voldemort's lair!

We ran with our wands in our hands and hid behind a wall. I had no idea what Vampire was planning, but I trusted him. Just then, we heard a raspy, crude voice shout out "Avadah Kedavra!"

It sounded like... Voldemort!


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Fuck off PREPS! Okay?! Raven, fangs for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital 'cause I slit my wrists. PS. I'm not updating until you give me 10 good reivews.

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WARNING: SOME OF THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY SCARY! VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Vampire grabbed my arm and we ran in the direction of where the loud voice came from. It turned out it wasn't Voldemort, but some ugly fat dude with bad skin and a greasy ponytail, wearing a gross set of red bondage gear where a bunch of straps hung off a pair of big fat underwear. Though his face was covered by a domino mask, I recognzied him as Snaketail, one of Voldemort's lieutenants!

Draco was strapped down to a torture table in nothing but a black thong and a ballgag in his mouth. Snaketail was whipping him over and over as he cried out in pain. Draco was crying blood red tears as Snaketail kept whipping him, Snaketail had a tiny boner poking out of his latex undies.

"Ow! Ow! It hurts!" Draco cried. Only he was gagged so it sounded more like "Mffff! Mffff! Mrhmm Mrhmm!"  
"Shut 'yer mouth, you pathetic Slytherin boyslut!" Snaketail replied.

Me and Vampire jumped out, and I shot at Snaketail with the Colt .45 that Voldemort gave me while Vampire blasted him with magic.

He dodged all our attacks perfectly, then he spun around and disappeared into a puff of smoke. He reappeared and pointed his wand at us. “Rid yourself of my sight you, despicable preps!” He shouted. But then he saw me, and his knees started to trumble. He ran up to me and dropped to his knees. “EbonyIloveyouwillyouhavesexwithme.” he said. (AN: In this, he is 48 so he's totally a pedophile.)

“Huh?” I asked.  
”Ebony, I love you! Will you have sex with me?” explained Snaketail.   
I started laughing cruelly. “What the fuck? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. 

Snaketail started to cry furiously. Then I shot him in the kneecap. Blood poured out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and rolling around. Then he twitched like crazy and rolled his way into a nearby fireplace and died horribly. I burst into tears, and Vampire comforted me. Draco looked sooo jealous.

"Snaketail! What art thou doing?!" Called Voldemort from upstairs. We heard the click-clacking of his high-heels against the congrete ground, and we knew he was coming! We had to get out of there, and fast! Me and Vampire unhooked Draco from his bonds and took his ballgag off. He hugged us both even though he was in his underwear. Harry spotted Snaketail's broomstick and we ran over to flee on it. I was sandwiched between Draco and Vampire, with Vampire steering. He flew away quickly, and we were on our way back to Hogwarts.

We were all back in Draco's dorm room. I was sitting on top of my coffin and crying. Draco came to comfort me. Harry had an apron on and was using Draco's hotplate (Harry borrowed it when they were gay dating and never bothered to give it back) to make blood pancakes.

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Draco taking off his thong so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (AN: get it? 'cause he's so sexy) and a really huge you-know-what and (cock) everything (balls.)

“Its so unfair!” I yelled. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all the bitchy prep girls in Gryffindor or the loser nerd girls in Hufflepuff.” (AN: I know I said Hufflepuff were nerds but there are also tons of preps there too.)

“Why would you want to be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Draco.

"Yeah, but everyone is in love with me!" Like Snape and Lupin took advantage of my body and spied on me! Cedric says he's in love with me, and so did Hagrid! Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail was in love with me before he died horribly!" I cried. "I just wanna be with you, Draco! Why couldn't Mephisto make me less beautiful?"

(AN: Don't worry, Ebony isn't a snob or anything but a lot of people have told her she's pretty.)

"I'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL?! IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and I ran away crying. Draco reached out his hand to comfort me, but I brushed it away as I left. Draco just sit there, crying.

[Harry's Perspective]

♫ Bloody pankcakes, makin' bloody pancakes  
Take some blood and then I put it in his pancakes  
Bloody pancakes, that's what it's gonna make  
Bloody pancaaaaaakes~ ♫

Oh dear, why are they shouting? Oh dear, why is she leaving? Why is Draco crying? Oh, dear Mephisto, this evening went south quite fast. On the bright side, I get to look at Draco naked! Oops, nevermind. He left.

Why am I still here? This isn't my room.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Stop flaming okay!?! BTW you suck. From now on every time someone flames me I'm gonna slit my wrists! Fangs to Raven for helping!

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“Ebony Ebony!” shouted Draco sadly as he stood in the hallway. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad to listen. I just kept stomping.

“Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. On the back there was a picture Marylin Manson. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I sat down on top of my coffin and started to weep. I took a razor and began to slit my wrists. I licked the blood up and it gave me energy. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Abjuration class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. I made my way downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced Abjuration work. I painted a pentagram on my desk in blood and used my magic to try to summon a guitar from it. Instead, Draco magically came out of it like a portal!

“Ebony, my dear, I know you're still mad at me, but I want you to know I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I don't care what those fucking preps think. You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I just wanted to commit suicide and donate my trust fund to some bullcrap fraud charity like Amnesty International just so nobody else could have it. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!"

I stood there in awe with my mouth wide open. Then he started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death" by Good Charlotte. It had become our song ever since we heard it at the concert on the night with first had sex.is singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexy, like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: Don't you think those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are, get the fuck out of here!)

"OH-EM-EFF-GEE!" I said as he finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said. I leaned in close and we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (I fucking hate that bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Lupin shouted at us but he stopped 'cause everyone was clapping by now. Even the posers and the preps thought we looked sexy together. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked. We decided to go there together.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: You know what?! Shut up, okay! Prove to me you're not preps! Raven, you suck you fucking bitch! Give me back my fucking sweater! You're supposed to write this! Raven wtf you bitch? You're supposed to do this! BTW, fangs to Britney5655 for teaching me japanese!

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"Wait, fuck! I can't go to a concert with you, Draco." I exclaimed. "Not after what happened last time - we got caught by that old preppy fucker! 

"Caught doing what? Doing... 'it'?" He muttered awkwardly because he didn't like talking about that kind of thing.

“Yeah! 'cause we... you know!” I added.

"Well, we won't be doing that this time." Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

"OH-EM-EFF-GEE! Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christian now or what?"

“Wait, what? No!” he yelled loudly. "Why would you even assume that?"

“Are you becoming a prep or what?” I shouted.

“Ebony! I’m not! Please, come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘The world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened because that’s not even a single, he had memorized the lyrics just for me!

“Okay, then I guess I will have to.” I said. We held hands and he stood up. He we held each other and started to kiss deeply in the passionate way we had gotten down to a science at this point. I also rubbed his bulge and grabbed his butt before I left, so he'd have something to fantasize about while he was jerking off in his room. After that, I left to my own room.

B'loody Mary was standing there waiting for me. “Hajimemashite, girl!” she said happily. she said happily (she speaks Japanese and so do I. That means ‘how do you do’ in japanese). "By the way, that fucking poser Willow got expelled. She failed all her classes and she skipped conjuration." (AN: FUCK YOU RAVEN! YOU FUCKING SUCK! FUCK YOU!)

“It serves that fucking bitch right.” I laughed evilly.

Anyway, we were all feeling depressed. So me, Vampire, Diabolo and B'loody Mary watched some gothic movies like "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Paranorman." "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

“Kawaii.” B’loody Mary nodded. “Oh yeah, I have a confession to make. After she got expelled I murdered her and then Lupin had sex with her corpse because he's a necrophiliac."

“Kawaii.” I replied happily . We talked to each other in silence for the rest of the movie.

"Oh, hey! I almost forgot, I'm going to an MCR concert with Draco tonight in Hogsmeade." I said. "I need to wear like the hottest outfit EVER."

B’Loody Mairy nodded energetically. “Oh-em-eff-gee! Totally! Let's go shopping!”

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic loyalty card.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spun. I couldn't believe it. “B’Loody Mary, are you a PREP?”

“Noooo! What? Hahahaha.” She laughed. “I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts. That’s all.”

“Who told you abuut them?” I asked, certain it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that name to me!) or me.

“Dumblydore.” She said. “Let me just call our brooms.”

“WHAT THE FUCK? DUMBLEDORE?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on, let’s go!”

We went off to a few different punk/goth stores just for this special night. The salesperson was a cute goth dude, but not nearly as cute as Draco, Vampire or Gerard Way. He gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for the real goths."

“The real goths?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked in unison. I was already in the changing room, half-naked and trying to fit a tight black dress on.

“Yeah. You wouldn’t believe how many posers there are in this town, man! Yesterday Lupin and Snape tried to buy a gothic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I didn't even know they had a camera. They said something about their last one getting broken or something but I don't give a shit.”

“OMFG! NO! THEY'RE GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

“Oh my Mephisto, you have to buy that outfit!” The salesperson said.

“Yeah, it looks totally hot.” said B’Loody Mary.

“You know what? I'm gonna give it to you free, 'cause you look really hot in that outfit. Hey! are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah, I am actually.” I looked back at him. “By the way, my name’s Ebony Dark’ness Dementia TARA Way, what’s yours?”

“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

"I don't think so. I'm going there with my boyfriend, Draco, you sick perv!" I yelled angrily. But before he could beg me to go with him, Cedric flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OH MY MEPHISTO! EBONY! YOU NEED TO GET BACK TO THE CASTLE RIGHT NOW!"


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I said stop flaming the story! If you're a prep, then don't read it! You can tell whether you're a prep or not by my quiz. It's on my homepage. If you're not, then you rock! If you are, then FUUUUUUUCK OOFFFFFF! Raven, please do this! I promise to give back your poster!

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Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and merch for free. He said he would help us with makeup if we wanted because he was really into fashion and design. (So obviously, he's bisexual). Hargird, the fat old bastard (who isn't Cedric!) stomped his way in and kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts. “What Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fucking bastard.” I can't even remember the dumb shit he was saying, and when Willow showed up he started shaking like a little bitch and left.

“Hey bitch, you look kawaii!” she said.

“Yeah, but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly 'cause Willow’s really pretty and I felt a little jealous, and I was also kind of horny. (AN: This is just the story! Not real life! Okay?!?") She was wearing a short black corset with blood red lace on it and a black and blood-red miniskirt, leather fishnets and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice, curvy body shaped like an hour glass, with big boobs (at least a C-Cup) and everything. She was so thin you could see her ribs poking out, but she was nice and plump in all the right places. I was blushing a little bit and I felt really uncomfortable even though I'm bi, because being attracted to a friend is super awkward.

"So are you going to the concert with Draco?" She asked.

“Yeah!” I said happily. Thinking about Draco's cock cured my homolust post-haste.

“I’m going with Diabolo.” she answered happily. Just then, Draco and Diabolo came. They were both looking extremely good today, or maybe I was just extra horny? All I know is in their tight shirts and even tighter jeans it looked like their clothes were just painted on. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons of makeup just like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black vans he got from the warped tower.

B’loody Mary was going the concert with Dracula. Dracula used to be called Navel, but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They died in a car crash. Navel converted to Mepistoism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black warped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair with red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now. We all went to Draco’s black Mercy-Benz (get it? 'cause we're gothic!) that his dad Lucian gave him. We smoked some fucking awesome pot. We would've snorted some lines too, but the last time we did that shit the night got really fucked up. Draco and I made out. We spent the ride making fun of preps and talking about how hot the dudes from The Cure are. Finally, we got there and came running, excited for the party to start.

Gerard was the sexiest guy ever! He looked even sexier then he did in pictures. He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing ethnic voice. We moshed to Helena and some other songs, banging our heads and dancing really close. I almost kissed Willow (I blame the pot and alcohol) but Draco stopped me. We all laughed about it, but secretly I felt nervous and ashamed.

But suddenly, the music stopped and the lights went out. Some kind of strange, magical fire lit up the stage and Gerard stood up at the front of the stage. He seemed to slip his fingers under the skin of his mask and it turned out he was wearing a mask! The other members followed suit, revealing they were just Death Eaters in disguise! The man pretending to Gerard was actually an ugly old preppy dude. It looked like -- no, it was! It was Voldemort!

The whole crowd was screaming and running away. Everyone was in total panic, and when we tried to escape the Death Eaters circled around us, and Voldemort levitated in the air in a menacing manner, scowling at us and going in for the kill.

“You moronic idiots!” he shouted with angst. "Ebony, I had told thou to kill Vampire, and thou failed. Now, I shall kill thee and Draco! Then I shall cast a dark spell upon thy friends, transforming them into mindless Death Eaters!"

“No! No! please!” We begged in unison, our voices filled with terror, but he laughed evilly and took out a strange sacrificial knife.

But just as all seemed lost, a huge bolt of lightning shook the very sky above our heads. Even the fearsome Voldemort trembled in terror! Voldemort and his minions cowered in terror at the sight of a gothic old man flying in on his broomstick. Covered in a black robe that said "Avril Lavigne" on it with a dark, magic black fume covering his face and hood over his head, he shouted another spell and a burst of arcane energy smashed against the ground, causing Voldemort and his minions to flee in terror.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"

I gasped loudly when I realized I recognized that voice. It was... Dumblydore!


	18. Chapter 18

AN: I SAID STOP FLAMMING! If you do then you're a fucking prep! Fangs to Raven for the help and stuff. You rock! and you're not a prep. Fangs for my sweater! PS. The other reason Dumbledore swore is 'cause he used to be gothic, so there!

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I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(The night before, Draco and I went back to skull (get it? "skull" 'cause I'm gothic and I like death!) Dumbledore chased Voldemort and his minions away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the bristles were blood red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR broom. We went back to Draco's room and had... well, y'know... to a Likin Park song)

I went down to the Great Hall. But I could barely recognize it. The walls, floor and ceiling were all painted black, and cheap little Halloween decorations were scattered all over the place. (Keep in mind, its still February.) The paint jobs were tacky and hastily done. You could clearly see chipping in some areas, and in some places they didn't even bother to finish painting - you could see a pink coat underneath. Almost like they planned to make the Great Hall pink but backtracked at the last second. There were also posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashley Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. I mean, the Backstreet Boys?! What year is this?

"What the fuck?!" I shouted. I noticed B'loody Mary and Willow sitting at a table nearby and went to go join them. They looked just as confused and frustrated as I was. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot!" Navel commented. Just as those words left his lips, a gothic old man with a badly dyed black beard and a goofy black and pink robe walked up to us. He had normal tan skin with white foundation applied poorly to it, and what little hair remained on his head was black. It was hard to recognize him, even after seeing him last night like that. But there was no mistaking it - it was Dumblydore!

"DUMBLEDORE?!?!" We all gasped in unison.

"What the fuck?" I shouted. "I thought he was just wearing that crap to scare Dumbledore! Is he actually trying to be gothic now?"

“Greetings, fair Hogwarts students!!” he said with a happy infliction. “As you can all tell by now, I gave the Great Hall a makeover to match my new style - inspired by Ebony and her friends! What do you all think?"

One half of the room was filled with the sound of cheering and applause, while the other was dead silent. The cheering side was filled with posers and preps from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. 

Gryffindor, home to the smarmiest and most loathsome of the preps, was apparently going through a Slytherin-inspired fake goth phase. Even though they wore black clothes, it was easy to tell they weren't real goths. The jocks in Ravenclaw had become Joths, an unholy fusion of Goth and Jock. Truly they were an evil far greater than preps. But worst of all, the nerds in Hufflepuff had become hipster posers. Hipsters, of course, are just another filthy version of preps. Only they're "ironic" preps and "ironic" goths. Fucking disgusting.

"Haha! Wonderful." That poser bitch Dumblydore laughed. "By the way, feel free to call me 'Albert' from now on."

"What a fucking poser!" Draco snarled angrily as the preppy posers waddled off to some dumbass prep rally. We held hands together and left for Transformation class. Vampire looked super jealous. I could tell he was crying blood red tears in a gothic Way (get it? like Gerard) but I didn't say anything. Before we were completely gone, I heard Willow shout "I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!"

I was so fucking angry.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: Please stop flaming the story! If you do, you're a fucking prep and you're jealous! Okay?! From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews! By the way, Ebony's a pureblood! So there! Fangs to Raven for the help!

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All day we moped around, angrily thinking about Dumbledore and his new poser minions. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward to - the MCR concert! It had been postponed after the Hogsmede incident, so now all my friends could go.

Later, I made my way over to the common room so I could avoid a couple of classes I wasn't interested in. Draco was there with me. Something seemed to be bothering him, and he was being very reserved about it.

I asked what the problem was, and he got angry and me and started crying all hot and angsty (aren't sensitive bi guys soooo hot?)

“No one fucking understands me!” he shouted angrily as the bangs of his black hair went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Broken Dreams. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (get it? instead of "tie" 'cause I'm gothic!) 

I was wearing a black leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a black leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly ring. My hair was al up in a messy really high bun like Amy Lee in Going Under. (email me if u wanna see da pic)

“Excuse me? What am I, chopped liver?” I growled.

“Bu-but-but-” he grunted.

“You fucking bastard!” I groaned.

“No! Wait! I didn't mean...!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I heard. I ran to the bathroom crying and slammed the door shut behind me. Draco banged on the door, begging me to come out while fighting back tears. I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my face like Benji in the video for Girls and Boys (Raven that is sooo your video!) I took out a joint and started smoking pot to calm myself down.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hargrid came in.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily as I dropped my pot. “What the fuck do you think you're doing in the girl's bathroom?!"

Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be Cedric, Tom Riddle or even Draco. But instead, it was just that poser bitch Dumblydore.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wannabe-gothic purse. “What are you wearing to the concert?”  
"You know who MCR are?!" I gasped, wondering if he wasn't really a poser after all.

"No, I just saw there a concert hat a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway, Draco has a surprise for you."


	20. Chapter 20

AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, okay preps?!?! Fangs to Raven for the help! Oh yeah, BTW I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect updates.

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All day long I couldn't stop thinking about the surprise Draco had for me. In my room, I put on a black leather mini skirt, a black corset with purple lace stuff all over it, and black gothic compact boots. MCR's new concert was fast approaching, and this time wizards from the Ministry of Magic were going to be there to prevent another Death Eater attack like last time. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, extremely excited. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door while I was in my underwear, trying on some black clothes and moshing to Thank You For The Venom. I got all mad and turned it off, tossed an oversized t-shirt and stomped over to the door. I kind of hoped it was Draco, so we could make love again.

Unfortunately, it was just that fat fucker, Lupin. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" I shouted angrily. "Are you here to try and rape me again, you sick fucker?" I ylled. I was allowed to say that because Dumblydore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape, since they're both pedos.

"No, acts-hell-ly. (Get it? Hell!) can I please borrow some condoms?" He growled angrily.

"Oh yeah! Why not? Then you can fuck your six-year-old girlfriend all day, right?" I shouted very loudly, hoping to get him in trouble."

"Alright! Alright! Nevermind!" He growled. "Thanks for nothing, cunt." He waddled off and I slammed the door behind him. He tripped and fell flat on his face as the sound took him by surprise.

With that douchebag out of my sight, I put together and nice outfit (the one I described earlier) and put on some black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, black lipstick and white foundation. Then I left. I made my way to the Great Hall, but I heard some strange noises. I went into stealth mode, sliding against the wall and trying to sneak up on whatever creature was making that strange noise, just in case it was Voldemort or a Death Eater. It was an odd sound, like a greasy sausage link slapping against an equally greasy bag of moldy meat, then getting thrust into a pile of expired pudding.

"Oh, yes! Yes! Ooooh! Right in my booty hole, please! More!" Shouted a familiar voice.  
"Yessss! Yes! Your robust rump is the perfect resting place for my randy phallus impudicus!"

It was Snape and Lupin! They were doing it on a table in the Great Hall, which was completely empty at this hour. Dobby the House Elf was watching!

"WHAT THE -- EBONY?!?!" Snape shouted as he jumped back and zipped his robe back up. Dobby ran away crying. Lupin unbent himself over and stood up. "Oh my god! You ludicrous idiot!" Lupin shouted. Normally I would have been turned on (I love watching crying guys do it!) but they were gross old fuckin' preps. (AN: BTW, Snape is in Gryffindor now.)

"Hahahaha! What the fuck?" I laughed sadistically. "Is this why you wanted condoms, you sick fucker?!"

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin replied furiously.

"Well, you should have told me!" I laughed. "Or better yet, you shouldn't!"

"Nyeh! You delusion dimwit!" Snape cursed at me.

Just then, I pulled out my phone, laughing, and revealed I took of them doing it. Then I took another pic of them in their awkward position. You could see they were half naked and covered in sweat and grease.

"Well excuse me!" Lupin roared. "What the fuck was that?!"

"It was blackmail, bitch!" I snarked. "So now the next time you see my getting undressed or doing it with my boyfriend, you can't fucking rat me out or try to join in or I'll show this to Dumbledork. So fuck off, you bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw up my wand and cast a levitation spell on a rug, and they tripped over it.

Shortly afterwards, I stashed the phone in a lockbox in my room and locked it. Then I went outside and saw Vampire standing in the courtyard. He looked extremely fucking hot.

"What the fuck? Where's Draco?" I asked him.

"Ugh, I really wish I didn't have to tell you this, but..." He began to explain. "Draco's being a total drama queen right now. He locked himself in his room and told me he didn't want to go. Then he started whining about how nobody understands him and some shit about his dad or whatever. You wanna go with me instead?"

He showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black '67 Chevrolet Impala (like the one on Supernatural) that had "MCR667" on the license plate on the front. The license plate on the back was "Ebony" it gold letters. Harry said his godfather, Sirius Black, had given it to him as a birthday present.

I squealed with delight, and then blushed in embarrassment. Harry just laughed.

I was upset about Draco, but Harry looked so hot and his car was so cool I almost didn't care. I hoped right in and we went to the concert together.

I'm ashamed to admit this, but in the heat of the moment, while we were moshing and smoking weed joints and enjoying the awesome music, me and Vampire leaned in close together and... I kissed him. I was just so mad at Draco and overwhelmed by everything I just... lost control of myself. Vampire didn't resist at all, he held me close and our kiss turned into a hot, sloppy makeout session.

We stood there, holding each other and trying not to make eye-contact. His hand was on my breast, my hand was squeezing his butt. As he touched me, I quivered. Watching Gerard on the stage dancing around singing "Helena" with his sexy, beautiful voice, face and body was amazing. I almost had an orgasm.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a familiar voice crying. I turned around and saw... Draco! Tears were streaming down his face as he saw us.

Did Vampire lie to me?


	21. Chapter 21

AN: FUCK YOU, OKAY!!! You fucking suck! It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong! Okay?! It's cause that bitch Raven! Fuck you preps! Whoops, sorry Raven. Fangs for the help. BTW, Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed!

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It was the next morning, and the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Draco was pissed at me, I was pissed at Vampire, and I was pissed at Draco even though I knew he had a right to be pissed at me. Everybody was just pissed!

Draco was sitting at a table in the common room, crying his eyes out. I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Draco, are you alright?" I asked him in a gothic but sympathetic voice.

"No I'm not you fucking bitch!" he shouted angrily. "Did you forget what the fuck happened last night? Do you have amnesia or something? Fuck!" He stood up, brushed me off and stormed out of the room in a grouchy, depressed way. I started crying because I was afraid he'd try to commit suicide again. Vampire walked over and held my hand.

"It's okay, Ebony." said Vampire. "I'll say something to him, and he'll calm down."

"You mean you'll go fuck him, won't you!?!" I snapped back at him as I pulled my hand away. I turned away and ran in the direction Draco left in. Vampire followed.

"Draco, please come back!" Harry began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was started to get really horny and turned on even though I was mad because I love sensitive bi guys. (AN: If you're a homophobe then fuck off!)

But all of a sudden, out of nowhere - we heard he could of footsteps! Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak and we both shuffled under it. We saw the janitor, Mr. Norris, walking by. He was shouting angrily, ranting and raving with a flashlight in his hand, trying to find any intruders nearby.

"Whose's there?! Where are you?!" Mr. Norris shouted angrily. We also saw Argus Filch walking with him with a lantern, grumbling and cursing under his breath. "Who the fuck is there?!" He said again.

"Is there anyone there?!" Mr. Filch added.

"No. Fuck you, you preppy poser son of a fucking bitch!" Vampire muttered under his breath, a fierce disgust in his voice.

"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME? WHO SAID THAT?!" Yelled Mr. Norris. He turned to Finch as they both noticed the cloak covering us. "Finch! Is there anyone under there?" Finch nodded. Mr. Norris reached out his hand, looming over the cloak, and then...

Vampire grabbed a hold of me and stuck his tongue in my mouth! Just as Mr. Norris removed the cloak, him and Finch saw us making out.

"WHAT THE --" he yelled, but it was too late because Harry tossed the cloak on them both, grabbed me by the arm and we were long gone by the time they got out. 

With my hand in his, Vampire quickly rushed me up the steps from the common room to the dorms. Harry blasted past all the other rooms and shambled me over to his room. He shoved me in and quickly sprinted over to the door, slamming it shut tight and fiddling with the locks.

"What the fucking fuck, Vampire?!!"  
"Sorry, sorry." He insisted. "I just hat to make sure Filch and Norris couldn't follow us. We'll head back out when it's safe and find Draco."

I walked over to Vampire and got right in his face, He was shocked and stepped back a bit, seeming intimidated. "LISTEN HERE, FUCKER!" I shouted. "You think you can just make out with me when I have a boyfriend? Then you try and take me in your room to do what? Fuck me?!!"

"No! I swear!" Harry insisted. "I'm only trying to help! I --"  
"Shut up! Shut up!" I started to scream as I grabbed Vampire by the shoulders. I looked into his gothic black eyes and began to feel nervous. "You're not going to steal me from Draco! I... I...!"

We both stood there in complete silence, gazing deep into each other's eyes. My head started spinning, and I couldn't control my body anymore. I pressed my body against his, I rubbed his cheek with my hand. He wrapped his arms around me, and... we shared a deep, wet kiss.

Lust had taken complete control of me, and Vampire too. He pulled his shirt off, and I rubbed his musclely torso all the way down until I stuck my hand in his pants. We were like animals, completely overcome by our carnal desires. We rushed to the bed.

He laid me down, then he zipped off his jeans and let his pants and boxers fall completely to the floor. He loomed over me and began stripping my clothes off, rubbing my sides and groping my breasts the whole time. He pulled down my skirt, pulled up my shirt, unhooked my bra and pulled my panties off with his teeth. I squealed.

I didn't know what was happening, but we were both naked. I couldn't resist any longer. He leaned in and kissed me, and I wrapped my hand around his dick and began to rub it fast, but softly. He bit my neck and began to suck out a tiny amount of blood, which felt really good and made me moan in pleasure. He slid his fingers into my pussy, and I started to pant.

We pulled our hands away from each other, and I let him put his cock inside me. He was so thirsty and lustful that he began quickly pounding away at me, thrusting back and forth with great speed. I whined and moaned as my body grew hot and my head became fuzzy.

"Oh! Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed.

He pulled out for a brief second and turned me over. He grabbed both of my breasts as I raised my butt high up into the air. He mashed himself into my pussy again and went even faster this time. I joined in his rhythm, swaying my hips back and forth to match his movement. 

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck! I'm sorry Draco!" I cried as Vampire's cock filled me with pleasure.

He pulled out one last time, and I repositioned myself again. This time I was on my side, and I left one leg up in the air for him to hold onto. He pinched my nipple as he fucked my tight pussy, moving faster and faster as I tried my hardest to hold back a lustful scream. I failed.

"Ohhhhh! Vampire!"  
"Ebony! Ebony Dark'neeeeeeess!"

We both orgasmed at the exact same time, groaning and heavily breathing as the raging passion in our bodies evaporated into satisfaction. As we began to settle down, our minds cleared, and our faces turned bright red with embarrassment. We both quickly cleaned up with a spare towel Harry kept in his room and clumsily shuffled our clothes back.

"Oh sweet Mephisto, please don't tell Draco." I begged.  
"Don't worry, I never will." Vampire comforted me. "Trust me, it's best if Draco never knows.

We made our way outside to the Hogwarts Courtyard to hide from them, and by pure coincidence we found Draco there, sitting at a table and crying to himself while slitting his wrists.

"Draco! I cried as I ran to him and held him tight. "Are you okay?"

"I guess so." Draco whimpered as he curled up to me. I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulders. Vampire looked all sad and jealous, but I was still pretty mad at him. I glanced at him and he scuttled off. We shared a deep, passionate kiss that lasted for ten minutes, and we went back to his room together to watch Lake Placid (see? isn't that depressing?) on the gothic red bed together. Draco fell asleep pretty quickly, and I was pretty drowsy too.

I went over to take the tape out of the VCR, but I felt my whole body tense up. My eyes began to glow with an arcane white brilliance, and I started to shake uncontrollably. Draco woke up instantly and ran over. He grabbed me and held me steady so I wouldn't fall over.

"Ebony! Ebony, what's wrong?" He begged.

"The Ministry...! The Ministry of Magic!" I began to shout out. It was clear now, I was in them midst of a vision.

"The Ministry of Magic is coming to the school!"


	22. Chapter 22

AN: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Preps stop flaming, okay?! If you don't like it fuck off! I know it's "Mr. Norris"! It's Raven's fault, okay?! You suck! No just kidding Raven, you fucking rock! Preps suck!

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I woke up the next day, Draco's arms wrapped around me. We were both in our underwear. Draco was in a sexy pair of black boxer shorts, and I was wearing a black thong and nothing else. I slid out of Draco's hold (wouldn't Draco's Hold be a cool name for a fort?) and put on some black lacey leather pajamas.

I heard a knock at my door, and I gasped when I saw who was standing there.

B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Willow! Draco got dressed and made his way over with them. All of them were standing there, looking at me.

I rubbed my crimson eyes in disbelief. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wore a black poofy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that were attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed off all her cleavage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it. Kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. 

Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor.He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became gothic and converted to Mephistoism.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” I yelled as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are you all here?”

"Ebony, we heard about your vision last night.” Vampire said. "Something totally fucked up is happening.

“Okay, but how about I put my fucking clothes on first?” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now, apparently. You look kawaii anyway. You're so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.

“Oh, all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why you're being all serective.”

“I will, I will.” Vampire said. "Dumbledore told me something of dire importance, and we have to take you to meet him.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hall and looked in from a window. A fucking prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt. We all put up our middle fingers up at her. She scoffed at us and was like "cha, whatever. I literally can't." Fucking cunt.

Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelius Fudge, the bureaucratic old fart, was there shouting at Dumbledore. Dolores Umbridge, the fat old preppy bitch, was there too. Dumblydore was still wearing that stupid, shitty poser goth outfit as the two Ministry goons were shouting him down.

"This cannot go on any further! You're a delusion old man, and your foolishness endangers the lives of all the children in this building! Dolores said. "Plus, look at what you're wearing!"

"Don't be hatin' my dog." Dumbledore said, throwing up gang signs. "This is what the kids are wearing. It's dope, yo."

"You're the only dope here, Albus!" Fudge snapped back. "Your leadership in this institution is a threat to every student here - and even worse, a threat to my career!

"You're not fit to be principal any longer!" said Umbridge. "You're a senile old fool. All the years of potion mixing and homosexual affairs have rendered your mind dull and useless!"

"Calm down, my homeslices." Dumbledork said. "Is this about that incident in Hogsmeade? I already handled that, yo."

"'INCIDENT'? You call what happened in Hogsmeade an 'incident'!?!" Fudge snapped. "It was a verifiable shitshow!"

"Language, Fudge." Umbridge corrected him.

"Look, before the Hogsmeade debacle, I believed your warnings about Voldemort returning were little more than the delusion ramblings of a senile, attention-seeking nincompoop." Fudge said. "But now that I know what you're telling me was true all along, I have no choice but to take over your command in order to protect the dignity of my career!"

"I will not be remembered as the bumbling coward who allowed Voldemort to run riot while a mentally-impaired geezer in a bad halloween costume pranced about as Hogwarts burned!" Fudge added. "From this point forward, you are relieved of your post as Headmaster, and I shall fill in your duties. In addition, agents from the Ministry shall provide security and oversee the faculty in their studies."

Fudge stormed off in a huff, and Umbridge blew a kiss towards Dumblydore and walked off. Dumbledork stood there muttering curses under his breath and rambling about how cool Ashley Simpson is. Professor McGonagall was listening the whole time and came to comfort him.

"Sorry about all that, Dumbledore." she said. "At least they'll stop Voldemort, right?"

"You kiddin'? Hell nah." Dumbledore replied. "They're gonna try and hide the fact that Voldemort even exists. They just wanna make it look like they got shit under control so Corny Fuck can get another term! Plus, with Voldemort around, it gives them an excuse to take over my school forever!"

"Then what will we do? Who can stop Voldemort?" McGonagall said.

"There's only one person who is capable of cappin' Voldemort's ass, and she is more powerful than ever Potter! The best part is, she's in this school!"

"Her name is... Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!"

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other. I gasped.

=====================[END OF ACT II]=====================

Real Author's Note: Wow, the end of the second act! We're about halfway done with this story, and things are starting to heat up. The Ministry of Magic is occupying Hogwarts, Voldemort is planning his next big attack, and Ebony/Draco's relationship has become extremely rocky. What will happen next?! Well, if you read the original, you already know. But stay tuned until next time anyway!


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